Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
