Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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