I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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