I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
