You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize