I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
