mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
