Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize