The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
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he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
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More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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