how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
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