So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize