he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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