I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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