Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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