We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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