PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
