I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize