yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
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