My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
