We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
