I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
