I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
