did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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