Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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