I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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