hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
