So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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