im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.