Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.