Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.