Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.