The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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