the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
