so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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