Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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