i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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