she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Randomize