grandma shit on top of the toilet
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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