Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
