opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
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They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
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Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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