I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
