oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I'm just crazy horny about you
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
