I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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