if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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