You're completely useless in the revolution.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
