woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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