He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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