her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
