Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
