he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize