We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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