Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Randomize
