You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize