The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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