Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
