WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
