walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
YAS. BRING CRAB.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
