i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
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All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
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She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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