Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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