update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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