I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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