I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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